I’m not even on break yet, and I am already bored and depressed about all the time I will have to fill.

I can’t spend it ALL playing Fallout 4!

So I will try to conceive of some kind of little thing I can work on in order to give my break some substance besides doing this blog every day. Don’t get me wrong, I love doing this blog. More than that, I need to do it. It’s a deeply ingrained habit now. The thought of going a day without blogging gives me a sort of dizzy nauseous feeling, like I have a high fever.

The kind that you can hear.

Speaking of deep seated psychological needs, I will be seeing my therapist for the first time since classes began on Thursday. Right now, AFAIK, the appointment is set for 2 pm, which will in all likelihood means that Joe will drop me off there but I will have to make my own way back.

That’s not a huge deal. At least, not as huge a deal as it used to be. Time was that having to walk four blocks to a bus stop was a major bummer for me. But I walk four blocks twice a day just to get from the Skytrain station to school and back. And those are Vancouver blocks, with an incline.

Nice flat Richmond blocks should be a piece of cake company to that!

I will also be going to the bank to cash my check and look into getting a loan to cover my remaining school debt. That’s going to be…. huge… for me psychologically. I can’t think of a situation which would be more stressful to me than talking to a bank manager or such and asking for money when I am just some schmuck on disability.

I would honestly be less nervous speaking in front of the UN. I am great at public speaking. It’s private speaking that scares the bejesus out of me.

But if I can do this, I can do anything. This is my Mount Everest. And I will climb it, and I will overcome it, and no mountain will be too high for me ever again.

Honestly, whether I actually get the loan or not after that is secondary.

Today I had Short Script in the morning. Which lead to another of my patented clusterfucks beforehand, because when I looked up my schedule online this morning, in those twilit hours between waking up and leaving for school, I saw that my first class was Short Script and concluded that this must mean that our final drafts of our short scripts was due today, which at the time meant I had 45 minutes to finalize it if I skipped breakfast AND didn’t pack a lunch.

So I was freaking out and trying to do all my planned edits at once and basically running around like the proverbial decapitated chicken until I finally looked at the actual assignment and realized it wasn’t due until a week from today.

D’oh! Oh well, no harm done. I still had time to eat a simple breakfast while watching some Voltron and get my ass to school only slightly late. For lunch, I put some Subway on my credit card, feeling kind of guilty about it as I will need all my $ to make that payment to VFS, but on the other hand, it was kind of necessary.

Oh, and speaking of which : I got a Roast Beef sub at Subway, and they have horseradish there now, so on a whim, I told them to put it on my sub. At the same time, I selected BBQ chips as my side dish. So I was basically eating two very spicy things. Which was dumb.

At least I had something truly marvelous to drink : watermelon juice! They actually had Tropicana Watermelon at Subway, something I had never seen before, and the moment I saw it while selecting my beverage, I knew I had to have it.

And it was quite lovely. I love watermelon so very, very much to begin with, and it also made for an excellent fire extinguisher for my poor burning mouth. The rest of me, not so much, but the mouth part of me got soothed anyhow.

The real problem was that I should have said “just a little horseradish” or had horseradish plus something cool, like tzatziki. I love horseradish with roast beef, but only in tiny amounts. Just enough to give it a bit of a kick to work against the heavy (and heavenly) savour flavour of the beef.

In the afternoon, we had Format class. Yay, I am finally done with Format! Our TV format test was, as promised, more of an Internet treasure hunt than anything else. I got 95 percent on it, which takes some of the sting out of the 59 percent I got on the other one. I am sure my grade will be decent in that class.

Oddly enough, I find that I am not thinking about grades at all right now. I am sure I will pass all my classes, and that’s all I really care about. Partly this is because, to be quite honest, the professors at VFS Writing don’t give you grades very often, so the numbers just don’t come up much. I have submitted a lot of stuff for which I have never, AFAIK, received a grade. Maybe all these things have, indeed, been graded, and the grades are sitting on Moodle somewhere and I have just never found them.

And I think that’s been good for me, to be honest. When I write something for school, I am not worried about the grade. I concentrate instead on making it good. As it should be.

Admittedly, I have never worried about marks much in the first place… I am, after all, Mister Take It For Granted That I Will Get An Eighty…. but still.

Art just feels more honest when there’s no numbers tying it down. And I feel like I am learning so much about writing from all this workshopping of both my stuff and other people’s.

And next term I get to take Sketch!

Things are looking pretty good from here.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.